No More Apologies: A Positive PollyAnna Rant

I had an amazing, transformational experience I wanted to share with you because it affects so many people, especially activated lightworkers.  I went on a Bliss Out retreat with Charis Melina and Leija Turunen, which I highly recommend to anyone looking to expand and evolve spiritually.  One of the Blissers mentioned I was apologizing a lot and without cause.  This was something I had thought about and heard before, but I didn’t realize the significance, or the ramifications of my apologetic nature.

Ever since I can remember, I have apologized for EVERYTHING!  I would say, “I’m sorry,” for things that had nothing to do with me.  For example, if it started raining and you wanted to go outside, I would apologize for it raining outside.  No joke!  I would apologize to people for their negative feelings, experiences, and thoughts.  When I started paying attention, I was probably saying, “I’m sorry,” at least four to six times an hour. That’s over 64 times a day!  So, why is this a problem?  Let me tell you!

Our words carry specific energetic vibrations, which is why they are so powerful, why words can hurt us, or why words can inspire and motivate us.  Our words interact with our DNA to mold our genetic expression (there will be an in depth article on this soon), and when we use words that resonate with shame, guilt, fear, or negativity, we bring ourselves to those levels.  You may not be conscious of trapping yourself in these frequencies, but when you unnecessarily use phrases like “I’m sorry,” you are bathing yourself in self-defeatist mindsets.

Before the retreat, I experienced a lot of growth intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually, but I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be.  I knew I was capable of going further, especially since we are all ever expansive beings, and I wanted to experience the next level of myself.  During my retreat experience, I broke every barrier or wall I had ever created for myself.  I let go of control and surrendered to the experience.  What I unlocked was a magical transformation.

I no longer feared rejection, loss, or anything else you can think of; my world became fun, playful, and full of divine love for everything and everyone, including myself!  I realized I am capable of helping and healing others right now, in this moment.  I realized it is equally important to nurture my creative, expressive inner child, to be content in my introspective knowing and understanding of my experience, and to immerse myself in nature to connect with everything I had worked so hard to distance myself from.  My world had shifted in a matter of minutes with the awareness that I am enough, as I am, and I am all I need in every moment of every day…and so are you!

We are all divine beings of light.  We all have a purpose and matter in the amazing pattern we have weaved to create our experiences.  There are no mistakes in the universe and you are experiencing this life for a reason.  Most importantly, you are here because you are worthy, beautiful, important, intelligent, and have the potential to change the world for the better all on your own!  This is why I refuse to give anymore unnecessary apologies; there is no need to apologize for the infinitely beautiful creator that you are.  Your thoughts, feelings, and actions matter!  You matter!  If you were superfluous, you would cease to exist.  Therefore, I am asking you to stand in your power, honor all of the pieces which make up you as a special individual bringing light to this planet, and to never apologize for your right to exist.

I lived most of my life in a self-induced prison of apologies; I told the world, and myself, through my language that I wasn’t worthy, I was less than, and I didn’t matter.  I have no more apologies to give, nor do I care to.  I set the intention, which I think will resonate with many lightworkers and people of service to humanity in particular, to love myself like I love others.  Loving other human beings, even the unsavory ones, is like breathing for me.  I love them all.  I see what is special and unique in each one and it makes me feel blessed to live in a place where there is so much diversity and uniqueness, creating a divine constellation of change and co-creation.

You and I are the creators of our experience, especially with our words.  There is a reason why there is an old saying, “Speak it into being.”  You have the power to create your experience solely through your word choice.  So the next time you speak or have introspective thoughts, I encourage you to use words that are loving, inspirational, and encouraging to yourself and others.  Your world will radically change for the better.  No one can love you better than you can, so love yourself enough to be kind to yourself.

I used to watch the world from a window.  I felt unworthy of enjoying the fun going on outside.  I could see it, I wanted to join, but I was afraid of rejection and I simply didn’t love myself enough.  Now, I’m immersed in nature, cartwheeling through life (literally), and experiencing the greatest joy I wasn’t even aware existed.  No one loves me more or better than me; I am finally fulfilled by being my authentic self in every moment of every day.  I want for nothing from any other human being anymore because I have found solidity and solace within my own divinity.  Love yourself enough to give yourself the same gift.

Much Love & Go In Peace 🙂


Forgiveness: What In The World Does That Mean?

© Trexec

Forgiveness is perhaps one the most abstract, profound, and confusing concepts in the human experience.  There are conflicting ideas about forgiveness that bombard us throughout our lifetimes.  One tenant that is probably the one I have heard most is, “you need to forgive in order to be free and move on.”  Other people told me to use my experiences and the latent anger, hurt, or resentment as a motivator to accomplish my goals and supersede the lowly existence those whom trespassed against me believed I constituted.  These conflicting messages puzzled me and I simply decided, “Who needs forgiveness!  Not me!”

Forgiveness Shall Set You Free

“You mean you want me to forgive all those people, who did all those horrible things to me, and just say it’s ok?!”  This was my reaction as a teenager and through my early twenties.  As a child, forgiveness was like breathing.  I forgave everyone for everything, no matter how great or how small.  Or at least I thought I did.

What confused me about this mantra, as well as many other people I have talked to, is it perpetuated a cycle of codependent and/or abusive relationships; these relationships could be romantic, familial, friendships, etc.  It causes people to go beyond forgiveness and go directly into acceptance without regard for their own health and well-being.  When you forgive and accept the behaviors or acts of others that cause you harm, even when you are aware those are unacceptable ways to be treated, you become an enabler, giving others permission, through tolerance, to treat you poorly.  I do not mean this as a way of blaming the victim.  Someone who decides to treat you poorly does not lose fault over their actions in any way, shape, or form; I simply want you to be able to see how the cycle perpetuates because it is not always the most obvious.

© Nhale

The worst part about this damaging loop is it erodes any sense of worth, self-esteem, and causes you to lose touch with the most authentic, brilliant part of yourself.  Traumatic events, no matter how intense or how fleeting, take a serious toll on our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health on their own; by going through the cycle of saying, “everything is ok,” you inadvertently prolong the healing and growth that needs to take place.

Use It

“I will show them!”  I think this might be the anthem for anyone who has ever been wronged at any point in their life, and definitely

during their teenage years.  I know I felt that way.  I used to say I had “watch-me-itis;” whenever someone would belittle, berate, or otherwise stand in my way of my personal awesomeness, my response was, “Watch me!”  This method works for a period of time, but eventually breaks down.

Using your anger, pain, and other negative feelings to fuel your actions and behaviors only taints the results and clouds your judgment.  Instead of maintaining control of your inner peace, which is key to listening to your intuition, you allow venomous feelings to motivate your conduct.  This is detrimental to maintaining healthy success, healthy lifestyles, and your sense of inner strength.  It’s similar to baking; you can always tell the difference between someone who bakes with love and someone who doesn’t, even if the recipes are identical.

In the moment when you are achieving things, because this does happen for a while, you will feel like, “Boy, I sure showed them!”  Yet, you miss the most crucial part of the message; you have given up your personal power to those who have hurt you in some way.  You’re no longer doing things because they nourish you and help you evolve; you are doing them because it proves to someone outside of yourself that you are worthy and they were wrong.  This undermines your sense of importance and there is nothing more important than knowing you are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are everything that you need.

Forgiveness IS…

© yellowj

“So that’s it!!!!”  That was my reaction the first time I experienced what forgiveness truly was; I probably would have cried if I wasn’t already laughing so hard.  I was lying in bed and I was thinking about someone I hadn’t spoken to in years.  Earlier that day I had a conversation with that person and it was the most amazing thing ever; I actually used to hate this person with a burning, fiery passion.  It’s not very nice to say you hate people, but I truly despised this individual with all of my might.  Fast-forward through a severe spiritual reawakening and growing into a blossoming adult and we come to my realization of forgiveness.

I had a completely honest, congenial conversation with this person, wishing them truly nothing but health, love, and happiness (which is the last thing I ever conceived I’d wish upon this individual), and I did all of this without giving away my personal power, without accepting the behaviors, and with the realization the relationship had served its purpose and now it was time to move on.

Forgiveness isn’t always an official exchange of, “I’m sorry,” followed by, “That’s ok.”  It’s something much deeper that comes from your spirit; it is a testament of truly standing in your power saying, “I am worthy, I am a giver and receiver of positive energies, I will not be ruled by that which does not serve me, and I will not be entrenched by the past.”  By being able to let go of relationships that no longer serve you, wishing the best for those who have caused you pain, and relinquishing the emotional chains which bound you to the other person, you will experience true forgiveness and true freedom.  It doesn’t always come over night, but when it does, it is sweeter than the first fresh breeze of spring after a long cold winter.